good health can be disappointing.

Just got a call from the clinic, results on my last set of blood tests is in!

I was so hopeful, thought maybe this time I'd get a real answer. I shouldn't be aching for no reason right? Some thing has to be causing this!

But no. Blood tests show I'm slightly anemic, but nothing to worry about. Every thing else is normal.

So what does that mean for me? Why can't some one tell me what is wrong?!

I should be happy that every thing's normal. But I still hurt. And it's getting worse.

I've had joint pain for more than two years, & no one can give me a reason!

God I'm about to cry. I just want to know! This is so disappointing!

People don't hurt like this for no reason! I'm not just a little sore, or achey, this pain is ruling my life! I don't go run around with the kids 'cause my knees hurt, I don't climb trees any more 'cause my hips hurt, I can barely hold my guitar 'cause my fingers hurt! Why can't some one explain it to me? Can't any one tell me what' s wrong?!

I want answers! Goddamnit!

I'm so fucking tired of pain, & I'm even more tired of pain with out reason.
It's just some thing to be endured if it's getting worse. I feel like I'm falling apart!
Even typing hurts.

I can't do this, I can't do that, because it hurts to much. This isn't normal! There has to be a reason!

Fuck this shit.
Ariel

P.s. Figured out chest pains. It's anxiety. This has happend before. :/ I figured it out when I was telling Sharon why I wasn't feeling well. I said "It's sort of like having a panic-attack, except I'm not panicing, & it's constant." After that it hit me, & I remembered the last couple times I had anxiety issues & how it felt. Knowing what the problem was, was a huge relief. Now when my chest starts hurting, I stop, breathe deaply, & think happy thoughts. :]