lets get together & feel all right

I have to say, I have had one hell of a week.

I'm not even sure where to start!

Summercamp was...crazy, fun, shiny, beautiful, spaztic, eye-opening, poetic, insane!

Lots of stuff happend, but every thing is sort of dwarfed by sunday night, so sunday night is what I'm going to talk about.

The whole day was pretty mellow, Mad & I played frizbe & chilled at my dad's campsite, that night we decided to buy new dresses before we went to see Moe. (Watching Moe is a great way to end Summercamp.)

We ended up dancing with these two guys--Corey & Casey--it was ten tons of fun, but at the same time I was a little worried that perhaps Boyfriend wouldn't aprove of me dancing so close with some random dude. (I wasn't all that worried, it was just dancing, but Corey kept smelling my hair & he kissed my cheek at one point, he was acting much friendlier than I would usually allow.)

After Moe was done playing the four of us (Mad, Corey, Casey & I) went to play frizbee & chill out for a while.

Okay, this is taking me forever to write, time to cut this epic short.

Mad 'n I were seperated, & it doesn't take a genious to figure out what she & Casey were up to.
(Lets just say, the seemed to be getting along quite fine)
I was pissed, to say the least. Corey & I went back to my tent (don't get the wrong idea, he & I were not getting as friendly as Mad & Casey) only to find the others there already, uhm...hanging out. It was not a pretty sight.

After Mad & Casey left (I kicked them out of my tent, they went back to his) Corey & I sat & talked, or to be more accurate, I ranted, yelled, fumed, complained, griped, & ranted some more while he listend & ocasionally made comments or tried in vain to calm me down.

I have no idea how long we sat there in the dark talking before I heard the sirens. They sounded familiar, & with the way it was raining (pouring is more like it) I thought maybe it was a tornado warning, but I ignored it, chalking it up to an ambulance removing some druged up hippies.
Until we heard the anouncement. There were police driving around telling every one to go to their cars, but not leave the park. We stopped to ask one of them why we had to leave & she told us that a tornado had been sighted.

That would be when I really started freaking out.

By the time we got out to the parking lot (just Corey & I, we had no clue where Madeleine & Casey were) we were drenched to the bone, I had mud up to my knees, & couldn't stop freaking out. I didn't know where my best-friend/practically-sister was, I didn't know where my family was, I didn't know where to go, I didn't have my cell phone (it wouldn't have done me much good anyway, my phone was dead) I was drenched, freezing, tired, & stuck with a dude who was sweet & funny but basically good for nothing (due to the fact that he was stoned off his ass).

I'm not going to go into all the gorey details, but at one point I started crying. A little known fact about me: I don't cry. It take a lot to make me cry. But once I do start crying (which happens about three times a year) I can not stop. Seriously. Oh, & I screamed ''I fucking hate you'' at Casey. Yeah...

Corey was amazing about it though. If I were him, I would have run for the hills! But he stuck with me, & held on to me, & made me laugh even when I was in tears. After I screamed at Casey, he wasn't mad or freaked out, he told me that I was amazing, that I was the most ''real'' person he'd ever met, & that he'd never seen so much emotion.

After a while of just walking around in the rain looking for some dude called Alex, we went back to Casey's car to borrow his cell. I was so upset I felt like couldn't go with in 50 feet of his truck.
One of the boys gestured at me, which caused me to start crying again. Enter Adam, the hero of Sunday night (Corey was a hero too, but Adam really saved me, I'll remember him for the rest of my life). He saw me crying & stopped to ask what was wrong. I tried my best to explain, but I'm pretty sure it came out as a strangled sob. He pulled me into a cold wet hug & told me I was welcome to hang out in his car & have a beer if I wanted.

Normally, if a guy was to invite me back to his car for a beer I'd smack him & walk away. But this wasn't a ''hey baby, come get in my car'' kind of invite, it was more like ''come sit some where safe & dry, here, have a beer to take the edge off.'' Which I did.

Corey & I went back to Adam's car, where we met Joe, (I never saw Joes face, but he sounded older & talked in his sleep) & Becky (Adam's rather drunk girlfriend). We spent the night there, four sleepy, smelly, sopping wet people cramed into the back of an SUV (at least I think it was an SUV, my memory is a little foggy).

I left early the next morning, I really needed to be alone. So I went back to my campsite, grabed my bag full of clothes, & went back to my dad's site to sleep in the cab of his truck. Thankfully, no one was awake, so I didn't have to talk to any one, if I had I 'prolly would have burst into tears & then every one would be all worried about me & not leave me alone & such.

After a few good hours of ocean-deep sleep, I was ready to face the world. Well, not really. But I didn't have to cry any more.

So that was my Summercamp (part of it anyway). Honestly, as horable as it all sounds, I think it was the best festival ever.
=^-^=
Love & bug spray,
Ariel

you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat

My parents have finally met Boyfriend! And...John.

Haha.

We went out for dinner last night after the final performance of Saturn Night Live. (Thank gods it's over!) I was soooo nervous about the 'rentals meeting him, I thought I was going to die.

But it went well, no one died, my mum & dad aprove. (As does my brother, but he's 11, I'd be extremely worried if he didn't aprove)

^_^



Anyways, I've got to get a move on.

Busy day ahead of me. I'm leaving for Summercamp tomorrow!

HAPPYDANCEHAPPYDANCE!



Love & cupcakes,

Ariel

who has my marbles?!

Sooo, I had a panic attack at work yesterday...
I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy.

Moving right along.
Boyfriend's birthday is coming up, (June 9th!) and I haven't a clue what to give him. I want it to be some thing...different! Some thing quirky, that no one else would think of. Some thing he's going to remember! But I have no ideas. >:(

Errr, lets see, what else do I have to talk about?
Lots of stuff, actually, but I'm far to lazy right now.

Love & sunshine,
Ariel

flipping frogs!

Todays been a good day so far, I'm HAPPY!
Woot woot!

I really am starting to think that I'm bi-polar, with all these ups and downs, but I'm not going to think 'bout that right now 'cause I'm HAPPY!

Haha, I haven't really done any thing this week, I have nothing to write about.

So here's what I'm going to do now, call Amcore & RVC, work on some math, aaand...who knows? The days just begun!

Oh damn, I just ripped my tights. Oh well, it's not going to ruin my day!
Love & laughter,
Ariel

can I have a hug?

Right now I feel like my life is all downs & no ups.
Not true, it's almost all down & some times a little bit of up.
I'm sad & I don't know why.
Every thing just sucks.
I need a break.
I want to hang with Mad & get chill.
I want to hang with Boyfriend and relax.
I want to hang with John & just talk.
I want to forget all the bad things, all the fake friends, all the bullshit, all the problems, all the drama, all the stress.

I need to step back before I break down.
I think I need a hug,
Ariel

the four-letter monster

I hate it when I can't say what's on my mind. Some times I'll want to say some thing important & I just...can't. It's as though I'm physically incapable of speaking, I'll just freeze up when I try to talk about certain things. It doesn't happen often, but when it does....it's scary. It's scary when you're trying to tell some one some thing--when you know you can trust that some one & that they'll love you no matter what you say--but you just can't say it.

Hopefully I'll get over that little hang up some day, it's good to talk about the things that hurt you, right?

Switching gears now!

Actually I don't really feel like writing any more....I've got happy things on my mind that I'd like to share but I'm feeling kinda' down. Meh, I've been feeling kinda' down for a while, but it's off & on. Maybe I'm bi-polar.

Love & color,
Ariel

chicken chicken duck duck GOOSE

I miss my ex-bf some times. It's not like I'm still in love with him or any thing gross like that, I just miss having him as a friend. Why can't we be friends eh? Why does he feel like not talking to me at all? It sucks. I understand why we couldn't be friends if we just broke up or some thing, or if there were still feelings between us, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! We went out in '06, kind of had an itty-bitty fling in '07, WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS NOW?! Fuck, guys are such hoovers some times.(Get it? They're HOOVERS, they SUCK )

I would be a lot happier if he'd drop me a line every now and then. I mean, a comment on myspace wouldn't kill the guy! Sheesh. And don't think I'm putting every thing on him, I've tried to get in contact with him again, I really have! But he just doesn't respond. The fucker.

Why do I care anyway? I have a great boyfriend, awesome friends, why does it matter that this one guy has decided to cut me out of his life? Gads, if only I knew, maybe I'd be able to get over it.

I really should go, I've been wanting to crawl back into bed all day long but now I keep thinking of things I want to talk about.

Damn ex/boyfriend, keeping me up all night.
Wooah, that sounds dirty.
Love & shojo,
Ariel

yo-ho-ho & a bottle of rum

I feel like I should do some thing nice for Boyfriend.
But I don't know what. Gah.

At first I thought I'd buy him flowers, but I don't know if he'd like that...flowers? That's not very practical is it? I mean, flowers are pretty & all, but they just die after a couple days! I love getting flowers, it's exciting, but I don't think Boyfriend would.

I think it'd be really awesome if I wrote a song for him. I've got all this music bouncing around in my head, but when it comes time to put pen to paper...I feel like I've got stupid hands. So that might not work out so great.

Meh. I'm to tired to deal with life right now. To be honest, I'd rather not, at least not these last couple weeks. Every things just been...crappy. Even when some thing great is going on I can't relax! Shit. I feel really emo right now. I think I need some wee-uh....never mind.

WAIT! Summer Camp is the 22nd! OHMYFUCKINGGODICANTWAIT.
S-Camp is just the break I need.
Goddamn, I don't know why I've been feeling so freaked lately, but I bet I'll feel better after Summer Camp.

It's bed time for Ariel!

Love & thigh-highs,
Ariel