I'm nothing without spell check

Every once in a while some thing will happen that makes me re-think this silly blog thing. But then I remember "no regrets" & I decide it's better to let life happen then live preventitivly.

But maybe I'm just stupid.

Soooo, life is good. Things are going pretty okay right now. Every thing that's not going well is sort of...ignorable. Not really, but the good out-weighs the bad!

Uh, I really don't think I have any thing I wish to write about. At least not right now.

Maybe I'll try again later.
Love & catfish,
Ariel

Guess who got laid last night!

My life is nuts right now. There's shit going on with the grown-ups & they don't even know that I know. I find it completely disgusting, I'm going to need a crap-ton of therapy sooner or later.

I'm in serious need of a car too. But alas, I don't have enough cash! (Donations of cash &/or cars will gratefully be accepted! No joke!)

Over all though I'm pretty happy. Whenever I start feeling stressed out I just think about all the wonderful things in my life, (my relationship with Chris, my awesome best-friend, & my little bro) it really helps! Some times it good to just forget about the shit & think about every thing I have. Once in a while I get so over-whelmed that I forget just what an amazing a world we live in.

I have a consult with my oral surgeon tomorrow! I can not wait. I'm super excited about getting my wisdom teeth removed. (As strange as that may seem) I still have the teeth that were removed before I got my braces, I think I'm going to have those four, & my wisdom teeth, dipped in silver & put them on a necklace. Haha, that's so creepy.

So la-dee-da. It's totally snowing right now. Is that not nuts? Snow, in October? Yeah right!

Wow this is a random blog-a-doo.
Blog-a-doo? What AM I talking about?!

I told Chris that I love him last night. It was sort of accidentally-on-purpose. I'd been thinking it earlier when we were fooling around, but I didn't want to say it then because he totally wouldn't have taken me seriously. Later, we were just snuggling on the couch, & I realized, this is how I feel! I can't let this moment pass, if I don't say how I feel right now I'll be to scared to say it later. So I said it! The second I did I thought, oh shit. So I added ''you're awesome.'' God I'm a dork. But it was okay! Chris made me repeat myself about three times, which sort of scared me. I almost thought he was going to break up with me right then & there, or worse, drive me home & tell me he needs "space." But instead he said that he loves me too & those words mean a lot to him. Aaaaah I'm sooo happy!

What a life!

Mmmk, I really think I have nothing to write about, this blog is all blathers. I'll try again tomorrow. (Maybe)

Love & fire-crackers,
Ariel

P.s. My dad is being a total dick-face today.

[some thing awesome here]

Today was fun. I took the kids to the park, we basically spent most of the day there. I was s'posed to hang out with my boy & some of his friends but my mom is closing tonight & my dad 'n Tammie went to a party in Chicago, so I have to stay at home with the kids. To make sure that they don't, you know, make a huge mess, burn down the house, kill each other, or any combination of the three. Sad-face. :[ I don't really mind hanging out with the kids. They are working on their halloween costumes now, & when Aaron gets out of the shower we're going to play a board game, after that we're gonna watch a movie & go to bed. Hopefully all the beatings at the park wore them out! I'm just sad that I don't get to see Chris again. It's really weird staying home in the evening. Since we started going out I've pretty much spent every night at his house. But last night he was busy with stuff, & tonight, well I already explained that.

Bwaaaah. I don't want to work tomorrow. It was really nice having a day off. But I need the moniez. To be honest, I don't really mind having to work tomorrow, it's the fact that I wont have a ride home when I'm done that bothers me. Moms' working 'till like 5:30 or some thing, & dads' gonna be in Chicago till around...I dunno, 6ish I guess. I tried calling my grand-parents to see if maybe one of them could play taxi for me but both are busy with work & stuff. Both of my 'rents & Tammie said that I should just ask Chris, but I feel weird doing that. I hate having to ask for help in any sittuation, I had to force myself just to ask my grands', asking my new boyfriend would be excruciating. I HATE not having a car! UGH. Just kill me with a spoon already.

Speaking of spoons, there's actually a really cool band called Spoon. I just discovered them for the first time about 3 minutes ago.

Sheesh, this blog has been nothing but complaints. I think it's time to cut it short before I start ranting about politics or the state of the planet.

Love & mufflers,
Ariel

check out this web-page: http://www.pandora.com/

I'm so insanely happy with my life right now. Chris, btw, is completely fantastic.
^_^ Ahhh, jeez, I don't even know what to write, I'm so befuddled!
That's a sweet word right thurr. Mwaaaah! I have to get up rather early in the a.m. so I do believe it's time for bed.
Night y'all!
Ariel

Real quick...

I just want every one to know that despite my vagina, I am a man & I think with my dick.
No, I'm not going to elaborate.

I got a new PHONE today! I'm soooooo excited! For those of you who don't know, the phone I've been using for the last year is a peice of zombie-clown CRAP. It does not have a functioning screen, & is just plain LAME. I'm not really suposed to be texting yet (I guess my 'rents need to update our plan to acomodate more textiness) but I sort of couldn't help myself.
Keehee. ^_^

Today was a pretty good day, I'm happy. I like it when things go my way once in a while!

Anyway, 'tis one in the a.m. & I have a rather important appointment tomorrow, so I should be off to bed.
Love & fishes,
Ariel

I don't want to rise before the sun

Dear Madeleine, If you ever dane to read my last post, I am very sorry for what I said. I made a hastey judgement & was overly emotional. What else is new right?

Now back to our feature presantation.

Woooh! So it's like 6:24 am. I have to be at work in less than 40 minutes. AND ITS STILL FREAKING DARK OUTSIDE! What the hell? Ugh, I HATE waking up when there's no SUNLIGHT!

That is soo not important right now, but I'm so out of my mind I have no idea what is important.
I should maybe right about Chris, or Mad, or my mom, or abortion protesters with extreamly graffic signs, or about the movie I saw yesterday, oorrrr.....the fact that I need to start working out again because I've become quite gellatinous. But at six in the morning I'd rather write rambeling non-sence.

I'll try this again later when I'm not so smashed.

The fiery furnaces

I couldn't sleep last night, & the few Z's I did catch were riddled with dreams that eerily fun-house-mirrored my real life.

At one point I dreamt that I was trying to tell Mad about sort of liking Evan (which never happend in real life) & having to choose between Chris & him. Even though there's no competition, in real life or my dreams. (Evans' a cool dude, but he makes me think of a mellowed out Ashton Kutcher who smokes to much pot.) But Mad was being a bitch & only wanted to yammer about herself. I think we were going to go swimming or some thing & I was looking for my bathing suit, when Madeleine started making up this song all about her. I got pissed off 'cause she's so self centered so I shoved her & ran out of the house. Then I proceeded to swim laps in the Rock river. (Which, in waking hind-sight, would not be such a good idea.)

It was bemusing. I much prefer the kind of dreams that shed light on a situation, or perhaps hand me a new way of looking at things. Not silly ones that share all the same feelings of my waking life with no resolution.

Now that I've recounted a bit of my bed time habits, I wonder if I should talk about Chris or Mad first? Hmm, I think I shall go with option number one.

So there's this guy, who's name I have mentioned frequently in this post. Mad 'n I met him at a show his band was playing about a year ago. (Or was it two?) He's also been working at Randee's for almost a year. He stopped in to B&N with one of his friendsters & we made with the chit-chat for a bit. I should have been working rather than yammering but it was a sslloooww night. Chris, predictably, asked for my number. Needless to say, I was thrilled. ^_^
There was some minor angst about that later because I couldn't remember his name (I'm bad with names! I can't help it), but it all worked out fine & dandy.

Novel cut short. I called Chris up & I hung out with him & some of his friendsters a couple days ago, & last night we watched a movie at his house & got our mac on. Bow chicka waw-wow.

I am so vulgar. Tee-hee!

Okay, on to complaining about Mad'Dog!
So the basic gist of things is, my bestest-friendster hasn't been much of a friend lately. She's really distant, & I feel like she's figuratively looking down her nose at me when ever I start recounting some of the happenings of my life. It's like the last couple of months she's just been more & more & like a snobby bitch. Not to mention self-centered. She's always acted like the whole goddamn universe revolved around her, but she's failing to see the expansion. Or maybe she does see all the planets slowly drifting away so she's trying to compensate by making even more shit all about her. UGH. Needless to say I'm feeling very frustrated. Hence the gratuitously colorful language. So I've stopped calling her. To be honest, I don't want to deal with any drama, so she can sort her own shit out. And if she still wants to be friends when it's all said & done, I'll be here.

Blah buh-blah buh-blah.

I need to pick an oral surgeon. I need all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I'm really not looking forward to having my gums cut open & my teeth yanked out, but I will be happy when my teeth are through with all the wise-pain.

Ooooh! Speaking of my teeth I'm getting a new retainer! As weird as it might be, I'm actually really syked about it.

Okay. That's enough crap from me today.
Love & pick-ups,
Ariel

this title is to awesome for your eyes

My life is so...full, right now. There's only a smige of drama & I'm happier for it.

So many thing's have been happening, I'm not sure what to write about or where to start!

Ho-kay. So, John drama? Basically we have been talking over myspace, & I've sort of asked him if he'd like to be friends again, but, I'm not really sure if that's what I want. I'm really afraid that if we start hanging out again he's going to want to be together, & I just can't do that.
My mind is completely boggeld on that front.

It seems like a sort of feud has erupted at work. It's Amber, & Hope (I think Deanna too, but I'm not sure) all against Hillary. To be honest I think the whole thing is completely insane. The thing is, I do like where I work, but when I'm not there, I don't really think about the store. I just can't understand why every one is so, worried about the cafe! I don't know, maybe it would be more important to me if I was older, or if being a barista was what I wanted to do with my life, but I just can't imagine being so upset about a few changes here & there. Yes, it can be irritating, yes there are times when I just feel fed up, but I deal with it, & I move on. Ugh, people are so weird.

Speaking of work, the other night when I was closing, a familier face stopped in. I met him after a show that his band had played last year. (Or was it two years ago?) And he works at the guitar shop that I go to. We stopped to chat for a bit, (who are you taking lessons from? Mike, Does he still...? Haha, yeah. And you? Hows the band? Oh yeah! Blah blah blah...) & he asked for my number. Now here's the rub (there's always a problem), I don't know his name. In fact, all I can remember about him is that he plays bass, & he has tattoos on his toes. Tattoos, on his toes. That's all I know.

I should be going, I have to hop in the shower before I trot off to work.
Love always,
Ariel

chom chom

It seems I haven't updated in...quite a while....

Theres been some relationship drama. I was in denile about the whole thing with Nick, he hurt me, I felt pathetic, I told everyone, including myself, that I was totally over him & was happier with out him. Lies, all lies.

Then Nick's best friend John(who had become one of my best friends too) professed his love to me. There was this whole drawn out thing with John because I wasn't sure if I wanted to date him & yadda yadda yadda. The night before I said yes to John this guy named Tim asked me out on a date.

I ended up really liking Tim & going on a few dates with him despite the fact that I was seeing John. I felt like I was living two differant lives. One where I was depressed & moody & always glad to see my guy John, & one where I was witty, smart, & always smiling when I saw my guy Tim.

Two nights before I left for Arkansas I ended up cheating on John & loosing my virginity at the same time. I felt like shit for what I did to John, but I don't regret it. That night was amazing.

The next day John & I broke up. I didn't give him any reason, I didn't want him to know what I did. What kind of person I had become.

I spent a week in Arkansas & tried to pretend that I didn't have any relationship drama the whole time I was there. Which wasn't easy since every one kept asking me about my love life.

After I got back Tim and I saw each other a couple more times.
Once we had sushi & went bowling. It was perfect. We both sucked at bowling, & we looked & acted for all the world like a perfect couple.
The last time we saw each other(before he moved to China) was....one of the most amazing nights ever.

I still miss him a lot.

I drew red, gold & grey flowers the next day, & I wrote a short poem about our bohemian romance. They are hanging on my bedroom wall now, every time I see them I remember my last night with Tim. ^_^

But now all that's over. I don't talk to Nick or John, & Tim is teaching in China.

oh dear...

I hate it when things get complex, & yet I some how enjoy it....
It's like I enjoy being in pain.
But hey, at least drama isn't boring, right?
Right?
I'm screwed...

BEST FOURTH EVER

I have to say, this was the most memorable fourth of July ever.

Early in the day Mad 'n I decided to ride our bikes to Lauren's house because our dearest darling Lauren was stuck at home all alone. We were only half way there (yet still four miles away) when Madeleine ran over a big pointy piece of glass & killed her tire. Note, I said killed not popped, that tire is dead. So la-dee-daa, we ended up sitting at a gas station until my dad could come pick us up. We did stop at Laurens, (to give her lots of candy) but only briefly.

Ho-hum pigs-bum, cutting short what could be a book...

At home when played with the monsters for a bit, ball tag & squirt gun fights. I snapped a few lovely candid photos.

Mad didn't come with us to see the fireworks, & I must say she missed out. Until the real show started we hung out, played Frisbee, devil sticks, Zunis, dancing, we grilled food too. It was almost like our own mini festival in a parking lot.

Haha.

But that's not the really memorable part.
We're driving home, traffic was abysmal, & we end up stopping on the train tracks. God wouldn't this be a great time for a train to come? I asked jokingly. Five minutes later, we're just past another set of tracks, & my dad pulls the truck over. (Since there were seven people there we had to take two cars, mom, Aaron, Damien & I were in the car. Katlin, Tammy, & my dad were in the truck.) The grill had fallen over, there were hot coals every where, so every one jumps out to help, not wanting the contents of the bed to catch fire. Just then we hear it, a train coming straight for us.

My mom had to jump in the car & move it farther from the tracks, all I could do was laugh.

Hot coals taken care of, & all small fires put out, we pulled back onto the road.
I'd say we were about a mile from our last...pit stop when all of the sudden (& thank god no one was to close the the truck at the time) the grill comes flying out of the bed, various pieces scattering on the concrete. Both parents pulled over immediately, & I saw my dad's door open, but I was faster. I flew out of the car & grabbed it before the traffic light had a chance to change. After the grill was loaded safely into the truck once more we waited for them to leave before getting back on the road, mostly because we were laughing to hard to breath.

Looking back on it I suppose those little tidbits wouldn't be quite as funny if you weren't there the whole night, but I'm guessing it'll merit a mild chuckle.

Happy fourth of July!
Love & gun powder,
Ariel

I'm not great at algebra

It's at my fingertips
but I can't get a girp
these numbers swirl with sarcasm
laughing at my every move
never have I seen integers to patronizing!

lets take the drama down a notch...

Lately my life has seemed quite...insane.
God, where to start?

Ahh, I guess I'll start with Boyfriend. Or should I say ex-Boyfriend.
Yeah thats right, Nick & I are no more.

I guess I saw it coming. I started getting weird vibes from him a while ago (before his birthday) & they just kept getting worse. I knew what was happening, but ever the optimist (or idiot, whatever you prefer) I kept hoping I was wrong.

The funny thing is, we're totally O-V-E-R but he never actually broke up with me.

I had my phone silenced all day friday since I had to work, & after work I had to go drive with Mr. Kohler. When I was waiting for my mom to pick me up I decided to check my messages, & hark! I message from the elusive Boyfriend! Basically he was like ''I know this isn't the best way to do this but...you know, just call me back when you get a chance."

At first I was totally in shock, I deleted the message & continued listening to others left with more welcome words, but by the time I got to the last message of the morning I was sobbing. My mom arived just then, so I ran to the car with tears & rain pouring down my face (yes, it was raining, nice touch eh?) & told her what happend.

But don't think your brave heroin broke down & spent the whole day in bed eating Ben & Jerry's. I'm a warrior not a damsel in distress! So after about two minutes of sniveling, I put on a happy-face & assured my mother I'd be just fine.

Once I got home I had to head straight out again. Mad, Kevs, & I were throwing our friend Evan a suprise party & it was my job to distract him for a while. He & I walked around the neighborhood for a while, & I put Nick out of my mind entirely. But ofcourse, even the strongest of wills can't hold up for ever (not that I'm that strong of will...). Around 8pm I told Evan I needed to go home because I was feeling sick (true, actually, stress makes me feel like puking).

After that I spent the next hour or so laying on my bed sobbing untill I couldn't cry any more. I have to admit, expected or not, knowing that my relationship with Nick was over hurt, a lot.
But soon the tears abated, & my sadness turned to anger. I felt used, I felt like he didn't even think of me as a person, I felt like all he cared about was my smokin' hott bod (yes, I am modest).

I felt a lot better after talking to Mad, so I decided to call Nick back. I felt really calm as I punched in his number (for the last time) but once it started ringing I worried about what he might say. I worried in vain though, after ringing for what seemed to be a life time I got his voice mail. So I put on my perkiest, most butterflies-&-bubble-gum voice & basically told him I saw it coming & not to call me ever again.

Mwahaha.

There are other things going on, but one of them I can't talk about, & one of them I don't want to talk about (yes, there's a differance). And, ahh...blah.
I'm going to bed now.

Love & text books,
Ariel

your life is waiting for you

Boyfriend finally has a car! HORRAY!!
(FYI, when he got hit by that semi his car was smushed.)

Moving right along.

I am currantly living in a seven person household, this time last month only four people were living here. (Our brave heroine heaves a deep sigh of remorse) It's a long story.

I don't really mind so much. The main problem is that the TV & computer always seem to be in use when I feel like watching a movie, & I find it hard to get to bed before 11 when the kids (including my brother Aaron) are all still up playing. But for the most part the kids (Katline & Damien) have been great, & Tammie (K & D's mother) is like one of the family. So it's all good.

Meh, I'm pretty tired, I think I'm gonna' watch some pokemon' with the monsters & go to bed.

Love & potatoes,
Ariel

lets get together & feel all right

I have to say, I have had one hell of a week.

I'm not even sure where to start!

Summercamp was...crazy, fun, shiny, beautiful, spaztic, eye-opening, poetic, insane!

Lots of stuff happend, but every thing is sort of dwarfed by sunday night, so sunday night is what I'm going to talk about.

The whole day was pretty mellow, Mad & I played frizbe & chilled at my dad's campsite, that night we decided to buy new dresses before we went to see Moe. (Watching Moe is a great way to end Summercamp.)

We ended up dancing with these two guys--Corey & Casey--it was ten tons of fun, but at the same time I was a little worried that perhaps Boyfriend wouldn't aprove of me dancing so close with some random dude. (I wasn't all that worried, it was just dancing, but Corey kept smelling my hair & he kissed my cheek at one point, he was acting much friendlier than I would usually allow.)

After Moe was done playing the four of us (Mad, Corey, Casey & I) went to play frizbee & chill out for a while.

Okay, this is taking me forever to write, time to cut this epic short.

Mad 'n I were seperated, & it doesn't take a genious to figure out what she & Casey were up to.
(Lets just say, the seemed to be getting along quite fine)
I was pissed, to say the least. Corey & I went back to my tent (don't get the wrong idea, he & I were not getting as friendly as Mad & Casey) only to find the others there already, uhm...hanging out. It was not a pretty sight.

After Mad & Casey left (I kicked them out of my tent, they went back to his) Corey & I sat & talked, or to be more accurate, I ranted, yelled, fumed, complained, griped, & ranted some more while he listend & ocasionally made comments or tried in vain to calm me down.

I have no idea how long we sat there in the dark talking before I heard the sirens. They sounded familiar, & with the way it was raining (pouring is more like it) I thought maybe it was a tornado warning, but I ignored it, chalking it up to an ambulance removing some druged up hippies.
Until we heard the anouncement. There were police driving around telling every one to go to their cars, but not leave the park. We stopped to ask one of them why we had to leave & she told us that a tornado had been sighted.

That would be when I really started freaking out.

By the time we got out to the parking lot (just Corey & I, we had no clue where Madeleine & Casey were) we were drenched to the bone, I had mud up to my knees, & couldn't stop freaking out. I didn't know where my best-friend/practically-sister was, I didn't know where my family was, I didn't know where to go, I didn't have my cell phone (it wouldn't have done me much good anyway, my phone was dead) I was drenched, freezing, tired, & stuck with a dude who was sweet & funny but basically good for nothing (due to the fact that he was stoned off his ass).

I'm not going to go into all the gorey details, but at one point I started crying. A little known fact about me: I don't cry. It take a lot to make me cry. But once I do start crying (which happens about three times a year) I can not stop. Seriously. Oh, & I screamed ''I fucking hate you'' at Casey. Yeah...

Corey was amazing about it though. If I were him, I would have run for the hills! But he stuck with me, & held on to me, & made me laugh even when I was in tears. After I screamed at Casey, he wasn't mad or freaked out, he told me that I was amazing, that I was the most ''real'' person he'd ever met, & that he'd never seen so much emotion.

After a while of just walking around in the rain looking for some dude called Alex, we went back to Casey's car to borrow his cell. I was so upset I felt like couldn't go with in 50 feet of his truck.
One of the boys gestured at me, which caused me to start crying again. Enter Adam, the hero of Sunday night (Corey was a hero too, but Adam really saved me, I'll remember him for the rest of my life). He saw me crying & stopped to ask what was wrong. I tried my best to explain, but I'm pretty sure it came out as a strangled sob. He pulled me into a cold wet hug & told me I was welcome to hang out in his car & have a beer if I wanted.

Normally, if a guy was to invite me back to his car for a beer I'd smack him & walk away. But this wasn't a ''hey baby, come get in my car'' kind of invite, it was more like ''come sit some where safe & dry, here, have a beer to take the edge off.'' Which I did.

Corey & I went back to Adam's car, where we met Joe, (I never saw Joes face, but he sounded older & talked in his sleep) & Becky (Adam's rather drunk girlfriend). We spent the night there, four sleepy, smelly, sopping wet people cramed into the back of an SUV (at least I think it was an SUV, my memory is a little foggy).

I left early the next morning, I really needed to be alone. So I went back to my campsite, grabed my bag full of clothes, & went back to my dad's site to sleep in the cab of his truck. Thankfully, no one was awake, so I didn't have to talk to any one, if I had I 'prolly would have burst into tears & then every one would be all worried about me & not leave me alone & such.

After a few good hours of ocean-deep sleep, I was ready to face the world. Well, not really. But I didn't have to cry any more.

So that was my Summercamp (part of it anyway). Honestly, as horable as it all sounds, I think it was the best festival ever.
=^-^=
Love & bug spray,
Ariel

you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat

My parents have finally met Boyfriend! And...John.

Haha.

We went out for dinner last night after the final performance of Saturn Night Live. (Thank gods it's over!) I was soooo nervous about the 'rentals meeting him, I thought I was going to die.

But it went well, no one died, my mum & dad aprove. (As does my brother, but he's 11, I'd be extremely worried if he didn't aprove)

^_^



Anyways, I've got to get a move on.

Busy day ahead of me. I'm leaving for Summercamp tomorrow!

HAPPYDANCEHAPPYDANCE!



Love & cupcakes,

Ariel

who has my marbles?!

Sooo, I had a panic attack at work yesterday...
I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy.

Moving right along.
Boyfriend's birthday is coming up, (June 9th!) and I haven't a clue what to give him. I want it to be some thing...different! Some thing quirky, that no one else would think of. Some thing he's going to remember! But I have no ideas. >:(

Errr, lets see, what else do I have to talk about?
Lots of stuff, actually, but I'm far to lazy right now.

Love & sunshine,
Ariel

flipping frogs!

Todays been a good day so far, I'm HAPPY!
Woot woot!

I really am starting to think that I'm bi-polar, with all these ups and downs, but I'm not going to think 'bout that right now 'cause I'm HAPPY!

Haha, I haven't really done any thing this week, I have nothing to write about.

So here's what I'm going to do now, call Amcore & RVC, work on some math, aaand...who knows? The days just begun!

Oh damn, I just ripped my tights. Oh well, it's not going to ruin my day!
Love & laughter,
Ariel

can I have a hug?

Right now I feel like my life is all downs & no ups.
Not true, it's almost all down & some times a little bit of up.
I'm sad & I don't know why.
Every thing just sucks.
I need a break.
I want to hang with Mad & get chill.
I want to hang with Boyfriend and relax.
I want to hang with John & just talk.
I want to forget all the bad things, all the fake friends, all the bullshit, all the problems, all the drama, all the stress.

I need to step back before I break down.
I think I need a hug,
Ariel

the four-letter monster

I hate it when I can't say what's on my mind. Some times I'll want to say some thing important & I just...can't. It's as though I'm physically incapable of speaking, I'll just freeze up when I try to talk about certain things. It doesn't happen often, but when it does....it's scary. It's scary when you're trying to tell some one some thing--when you know you can trust that some one & that they'll love you no matter what you say--but you just can't say it.

Hopefully I'll get over that little hang up some day, it's good to talk about the things that hurt you, right?

Switching gears now!

Actually I don't really feel like writing any more....I've got happy things on my mind that I'd like to share but I'm feeling kinda' down. Meh, I've been feeling kinda' down for a while, but it's off & on. Maybe I'm bi-polar.

Love & color,
Ariel

chicken chicken duck duck GOOSE

I miss my ex-bf some times. It's not like I'm still in love with him or any thing gross like that, I just miss having him as a friend. Why can't we be friends eh? Why does he feel like not talking to me at all? It sucks. I understand why we couldn't be friends if we just broke up or some thing, or if there were still feelings between us, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! We went out in '06, kind of had an itty-bitty fling in '07, WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS NOW?! Fuck, guys are such hoovers some times.(Get it? They're HOOVERS, they SUCK )

I would be a lot happier if he'd drop me a line every now and then. I mean, a comment on myspace wouldn't kill the guy! Sheesh. And don't think I'm putting every thing on him, I've tried to get in contact with him again, I really have! But he just doesn't respond. The fucker.

Why do I care anyway? I have a great boyfriend, awesome friends, why does it matter that this one guy has decided to cut me out of his life? Gads, if only I knew, maybe I'd be able to get over it.

I really should go, I've been wanting to crawl back into bed all day long but now I keep thinking of things I want to talk about.

Damn ex/boyfriend, keeping me up all night.
Wooah, that sounds dirty.
Love & shojo,
Ariel

yo-ho-ho & a bottle of rum

I feel like I should do some thing nice for Boyfriend.
But I don't know what. Gah.

At first I thought I'd buy him flowers, but I don't know if he'd like that...flowers? That's not very practical is it? I mean, flowers are pretty & all, but they just die after a couple days! I love getting flowers, it's exciting, but I don't think Boyfriend would.

I think it'd be really awesome if I wrote a song for him. I've got all this music bouncing around in my head, but when it comes time to put pen to paper...I feel like I've got stupid hands. So that might not work out so great.

Meh. I'm to tired to deal with life right now. To be honest, I'd rather not, at least not these last couple weeks. Every things just been...crappy. Even when some thing great is going on I can't relax! Shit. I feel really emo right now. I think I need some wee-uh....never mind.

WAIT! Summer Camp is the 22nd! OHMYFUCKINGGODICANTWAIT.
S-Camp is just the break I need.
Goddamn, I don't know why I've been feeling so freaked lately, but I bet I'll feel better after Summer Camp.

It's bed time for Ariel!

Love & thigh-highs,
Ariel

how to chanel a rock-goddess in three easy steps

Way back when Mad & Boyfriend sort of bullied me into auditioning for Nick C.'s band I never imagined that anything would come of it. In fact, I was pretty sure that after the second audition they'd say some thing nice(so there's no hard feelings) & tell me they just don't think I'm a good fit for the band.

Shit, I was wrong. Can you believe it?! I can't. I mean, I know I have an okay voice, better than many, but...I don't know, I just didn't think I could do it, whatever "it" is.

Goddamn! Holy shit! Now all I've got to do is ditch my nerves & learn how to chanel a rock-goddess.

On a totally different note(like F & b-flat), my sunburn is now peeling, & it's gross.
Plus it iches like a mofo. Gah.

All right my ducks & duckettes, it's time I got off to bed. Mmm...maybe I'll take a shower first...
Stop! Shower time!

Love & picks,
Ariel

I'm melting! I'm melting!

How to survive a nasty sunburn:

1. Loose cotton clothes. Right now I'm in love with my Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt & my Hello Kitty PJs. But I don't think I'll be wearing a bra for a while.


2. Cool it off! Depending on the severity of said burn, you might end up with a wee bit of swelling. The best thing to do is use some ice packs, even if it's not that nasty, taking the heat out of your burn will make it hurt much less.


3. Pain killers! My fav is Ibuprofen. It's amazing, it's what I took all the time when I had braces, worked like a charm! Though if you're like me & always get a side of headaches with your sunburn, I recomend taking one Ibuprofen(Advil) & one Acetaminopehn(Tylenol). But don't over do it! Most people don't know that one tablet of Ibuprofen is actually a full dose for an adult. (Note, I'm no doctor, don't take my word as solid medical addvice, it's not)


4. Moisturize! That's just a fancy way of saying DONT LET YOUR SKIN DRY OUT! And trust me, with a sunburn it's quite likely to. You can use just any old lotion but I'd say go with the Aloe. You can get tubes of Aloe gell stuff at any drug store. Seriously, it helps sooooo much. I love the stuff 'cause it feels all cool slimy it makes your burn feel better! Also, using Aloe will help keep your sunburn from peeling, wich is nice since peeling is GROSS.
5. Drink fluids! I know it's soooo cliche, but it really does help. Trust me!
6. Don't let it hapen again! Studies show that people who have been seriously burned at least once in their life are 10 times more likely to get skin cancer later. So slather on that SPF 30! P.S. Sunburns cause lots of outward skin damage, but the UVB rays from the sun do damage you can't even see! Because of the UBV you're more likely to get wrinkles, and ages spots (and skin cancer!) at an early age if you don't wear sunscreen. I'd rather be pale than look like a leather handbag!
7. Don't scratch it! I don't know why but my sunburns always itch like crazy, but trust me DONT SCRATCH. It hurts, a lot, & since you've already fucked up your skin with the sun, a little bit of scratching can cause permanent scars.

Notes: Just a few things I noticed last night: Do not take a long hot shower! If you're feeling stiff & sore a hot shower might sound like just what you need, but with a bad sunburn it's more pain than it's worth! Also, be careful what hair care crap you choose, a suprising amount of shampoos & conditioners have alcahol in them, i.e. IT HURTS YOUR SUNBURN. If possible, do not sleep on your sunburn! I can't sleep on my belly, & I can't sleep on my side unless I'm in bed with some one else, so sadly, I ended up sleeping on my sunburn & it hurts like a mofo.

Love & lobsters,
Ariel

who wears short-shorts?!

Well my ducks & duckettes, today was a good day. I got to meet Maddog's new boytoy, he seemed pretty cool once he actually started talking.

Though I have to say, I'm in a lot of pain right now. Mad 'n I went to walgreens first, & I ment to buy some sun screen, but like the dipshit I am, I forgot. I was wearing a sort of low-cut dress, so now my back & arms are a pretty painful shade of red. Gah! Work is not going to be fun tomorrow!

BLEH.

Also, my bike seat sucks, there for my bum is bruised. WHO GETS A BRUISED BUM?! It's so weird.

Mmmkay, I do believe I needs to shower now. And sleep. Mmm, sleeeep....

Love & aloe,
Ariel

come join my pity party!

Soooo, I feel like a crap person, & a quitter.

I started making currtans for my bedroom, got half way done, & quit!(Actually, I decided to take a break 'cause I'd been sewing for an hour or so & I didn't want my machine to over heat, & never went back to do the rest) Started studying for exams, & quit!(I keep meaning to study but...I always think of some thing better to do) Started writing that song, started cleaning my room, started writing that essay, started knitting that hat, started working out, started god knows what else, AND QUIT.

Meh. This is the worst blog ever, all I can do is rant in a self loathing way.
I guess todays just one of those crap days where all I can do is feel sorry for myself & not do any thing about it.

You know what'd make me feel better right about now? Rainbow sherbert.
You can't feel sorry for yourself while eating rainbow sherbert!

Love & brain freeze,
Ariel

double crap & dinos

Boyfriend brought up an interesting subject a while ago.(I've actually been meaning to write about this for ages, but I still haven't figured out how to tell the story & have it be as funny to you as it is to me)

Two words: Retarded dinosaurs.

Now for me this brought up a whole slew of philosophical questions, can animals be retarded? I mean, obviously if dinos were they wouldn't live very long & there wouldn't be any fossils of them, there for we have no conclusive evidence that there weren't handicapped dinos. I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this, & come up with all sorts of questions & arguments, but that's not the point of this story.

Anyway.

So we're talking about the possibility of handicapped dinosaurs, joking around about the ''chalenged'' t-rex, & another idea pops up: Donny the special needs dino.
Can you imagine that as a kids book? It would be great!
And ofcourse the book would be so popular that PBS would pick it up as a kids show, to teach tolerance & stuff. Bwahaha.
That's so wrong on so many levels.

Now please, don't think I'm making fun of retarded people, I'm not. I have mentaly chalenged family memebers(well, only one) & I do get offended when people use the word retard as an insult. But come on, Donny the special needs dino? You gotta' love it!

Crap, I can't beleive I just said ''you gotta' love it''. Ew.

Okay, I feel like a really bad person right now. Last night I decided to go to the ACF show thinking I didn't work today. Well guess what? I just checked the messages on my cell phone & it turns out I was s'posed to be there at 7:30. Fuck! Double fuck! I'm such a crappy excuse for a human! Gaaaads, I bet I through off the whole day, & saturdays are soooo busy....Shiiiiiiit. I suck. I really really suck. Fuck. I bet every one in caffe is pissed at me now. I know I would be! Aaaargh. Some one should shoot me in the head. When I called to explain what happend(though I really have no excuse) Emily acted like it was no big deal, but it is! I really fucked up. Grrr, I hate myself right now.

Gads, I don't know what it is about today but I'm a really shitty person. First I don't show up for work when I'm fucking opening(i.e. they needed me there), then I bitch at Mad on the phone for a while, act like a total bitch to Aaron & cancel my audition. What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I am a shithead.

Damn, I think I feel that Jewish/Catholic guilt kicking in. Haha. No, I should feel guilty.

I can't beleive I worked this morning! Fuck! I suck like a hoover.
Every one should hate me today.
I know I do.

Crap & double crap,
Ariel

blame it on the rain

I tend to get on kicks some times. A couple months ago I would only eat tomato & cheese sandwiches when I was at home. And for a while I would wear my green jacket every single day. Some times I'll end up having the same thing for breakfast every day for weeks. I can't help it! Right now I'm really into tea. It's like the only thing I drink. Some times I'll have coffee when I'm at work, but usually it's tea. I actually have a hard time drinking any thing other than tea. If I wake up in the middle of the night & think ''damn, I could really use a drink'' I end up staying in bed because I know if I get up I'm gonna' make myself a cup of tea instead of just getting a glass of water.

This hapens to me with clothes, colors, hairstyles, it's insane! For a while I'd wear headbands to work all the time, even though I look like crap in a headband, and once for about a week I had to wear yellow all the time. Not like all I could wear was yellow shirts or some thing, but I had to wear some thing yellow, like earings or socks.

I'm nuts.

I've been feeling very anti-pants & shoes for a while now. I honestly hate wearing any thing but skirts & sandals. Last night was sort of torture, because I had to wear pants and shoes.
I've been feeling sort of anti-bra too, but I'm afraid my back dosen't like it much when I don't wear one. Note: Boobs are heavier than you think!

But last night was fun none 'ze less. I less than three the ELB!

ACF was killer as per usual, but they didn't play brand new zombie! >:( It pissed me off.
They always make me think of crazy parties with cocaine & champagne.

We didn't get to see all of The Swing Set, sooo that sucked. I've never actually seen them play a set all the way through, I've always had to leave.(Sorry Evan/Bartholomew)

This blog isnt going very well...There was some thing I was s'posed to write about but I don't remember what! Son of a biscuit.
I think I shall try agian later.

Love & dinosaurs,
Ariel

woops...

I sort of feel like a cock-tease after last night.

Ya' see, Boyfriend & I ended up hanging out with John all day & so we didn't get to like...fool around. It's no big deal really, being there for your friends is more important than making out, & if Boyfriend had suggested we leave John to wallow in his own self-pity, I would have been pretty upset. Bros before hos!(not that I'm calling myself a ho...) And I expect him to understand when I put my girls before him.(Chicks before dicks!)

So then it's like 12:50ish & we're parked in my driveway, making out, obviously. God I was so fucking turned on! I was most certainly not ready to go home. but it was like one in the morning(!) & I was kinda' afraid my mom would still be up.(she wasn't, THANK GOD) So....yeah...I feel like a tease. But I guess I am. Mwahaha.

Anyway...
When I got inside, the house was quiet & dark. At first I was like ''Yes! No one's awake! HUZZAH!"(Except not huzzah 'cuz I'm actually not that big a dork) But then, I thought for sure my mum would be sitting in the arm chair & turn the light on right when I thought I was home free. Just like in the movies. But she didn't!

Then I was like "Ho crap, do I have to work tomorrow?" Much to my dismay, I did have to work in the morning, at 7:30. Needless to say I am quite tired today. And I've been cussing alot. I always end up cussing a ton when I haven't had enough sleep. The first word out of my mouth this morning was actually bitch.(I was talking to my alarm clock)

Aaaah crap face.

I doooo have some thing rather funny to write about but I told the boy child I'd play a game with him before I go to the ACF show with Maddog.

Peace!
Ariel

I'm dating a miracle

I don't really feel like talking right now. Errr....typing? Yeah, typing.
But I just thought I'd share this with you, greatest confession EVER:
http://beta.grouphug.us/confessions/152708896

I'm trying to write a letter to Alli right now, but it's not going that well....

OH DEAR GOD! How could I forget?!
BOYFRIEND GOT HIT BY A TRUCK!
Yeah, a truck.
Personally, I think he's a walking miracle. He got hit by a freaking semi & walked away.
He's not even bruised!
When he told me, my reaction was predictable, I said ''You got hit by a semi? AND YOU DIDN'T CALL ME?!"
Though, after thinking about it, I know it's a very good thing that he told me face to face. If he had called & been like ''sooo, I got hit by a truck, but don't worry, I'm totally fine!" I would have freaked out. Even face to face I was freaking out. All I could say for about 10 minutes was ''You got hit by a truck?!"
The whole thing is pretty crazy-making.

Okay, I gots ta' go.
Love & waffles,
Ariel

bleh to the tenth power

I am sick. Very very sick.
My head feels like there's a little gnome inside pounding on my brain with a hammer.
I feel so week, I couldn't open the peanut butter by myself!
Bleh, blah, bloo, blee.
I spent my whole day drinking tea & reading comics.
Now I think every one should call me & leave me messages.
1-779-348-9177

Man, I totally found the most wonderfully ironic quote today
"A witty saying proves nothing." Voltaire
Bwahaha, I love it.

Ich liebe dich
Ariel

I HAVE THE FLU

I have no clue what I'm doing with my life.
I want to do some thing, I want to be some one, but I don't know what & I don't know who.
I feel like every thing is just moving to fast, & life, the universe, keeps accelerating. It's out of my control.
Like I'm driving this car down a deserted rurual highway, the road is curvy, there's trees on either side, I know I can't see more than 50 feet in front of me, but I just keep driving faster and faster not knowing whats in front of me. I can't slow down now, it's out of my control, & any second now some thing could appear in front of me to stop me dead in my tracks.

Wow, I sound morbid.

Bah, I hate being sick. It makes my brain all heavy.
Je t'adore,
Ariel

PEE TO THE ESS
Go here: http://www.nataliedee.com/
I just spent about an hour an a half looking at that website, killing my IQ, & I think you should too!

reoccuring me

"I believe there is someone on the other side of the world who is just like me. I also think that we’d really get on.
If it’s true, they should be reading this.
Why aren’t you trying to find me? "
http://beta.grouphug.us/confessions/318158625

I've always felt like that, ever since I was 8 & I read this study about reoccuring genetic mutations, & this one genetic reasearcher's hypothesis about "dopelgangers" & why some people tend to look like their bestfriends.

I'm a nerd...

falling off the horse

Slept a lot yesterday, then went to the Elb with Mad.
It was cool, but the Elb doesn't seem to hold the same charm that it used to.
Damn people.
People mess up every thing.

So I guess I shouldn't write stuff about people on here, turns out *some one* Mad knows read my blog(god only knows why, I wouldn't read this crap!) & found out about the whole....uhm....Drake thing....I feel kinda' bad, I mean, I knew this would happen, I know that we both know a lot of the same people, but I did nothing to prevent it.

Then again, it feels sort of justified, after the whole Steve thing Mad told tons of people! Man I wanted to kill her, seriously, I started getting IMs from people I don't even know, trying to comfort me, or warn me, & the whole time I just wanted to pound Mads face into a wall.

Awhile ago, I met this guy, and when I told him my name he goes ''wait, do you know Steve (last name)?"
Me: "Uhm....yeah, why?"
Him: "Duuuuude!"
Me: "What?!"
Him: "Oh, nothing...I've just heard some stuff about you..."
Me: *dies*

So forgive me if I don't feel all that guilty.
Ahaha, I'm such a bitch.

It's weird to know some one has actually read this crap...It makes me think I should watch what I say....But I wont, I like being totally candid.

Gah, I had no idea the things that I say could cause so much drama-rama!

Mad's worried about people at her school reading my blog, Boyfriend's worried about people at work reading it, WHAT NEXT?!

I feel like I should make up code-names for every one...but that would mean I'd have to go through & edit out all the names I've ever said. Ugh. No, laziness wins again!

I have that audition for Nick C.'s band tonight. I don't want to do it. I want to give up, like I always do. I give up on every thing, why does this have to be any different? BLEH. But I can't back out. Waaaa! Why do I have to be so honest? Why can't I just make up some excuse & not do it? Why? I'm such a fucking chicken!

I'm going to do it, I mean it's just an audition right? It doesn't mean any thing!
This would be a lot easier if Mad or Boyfriend would come with me. But Boyfriend is working, & Mad has some party to go to. >:( I feel sort of abandoned, like no one's here for me when I need them.
Big suprise, it's always been like that.

What happened to all my friends? I used to have a bunch of great friends, we had so much fun & we were always there for each other. Now I basically have three friends.
I guess I sort of out-grew every one, & never tried to replace them...
I suck.

This is really depressing. I don't think I should write stuff when I'm feeling like this, it always sounds bitchy & self-pitying, I'm really not like that in real life.

Go fly a kite!

Love & bananas,
Ariel

and that's when she called me a...

Blah blah blah.
I dooo have stuffs to write about, but I am le' tired. I s'pose that ought to be la tired, since I'm female, but le tired sounds cooler.
Or does the male/female rule not aply in that situation?
*confused*

I felt bad for Boyfriend last night. He was trying so hard to get my attention but I was falling asleap.

Mwahaha.
I shouldn't find that funny, but I do, I'm such a crappy person.
Hahaha.

Boys in general are quite entertaining. And they have no idea! Ahaha. They can be so clueless.

Speaking of Boyfriend, it seems as though he's a little uncomfy with ze whole blog thing.
I s'pose I can see why, not every one has the same feelings I do(i.e. if you ask I'll tell). So I shall respect his wishy-wishes & not post certain *cough* details of our time spent together.

Anypoo, I shall tell all about yesterday at some other point in time. Right now I need some coffee.

Ashiteru wa!
Ariel

si por supuesto

Today was sad-making.

Hmmm....

Gah, I have a guitar lesson tomorrow. I do not want to go. In fact, all I really feel like doing tomorrow is....well, nothing. I'd be quite happy to watch movies & not eat any thing.

Being alone kind of sounds good too, whatever hapend to alone time? Myself & I used to spend lots of time together, but latley I'm always with some one. How is that possible? My social-square is smaller than ever, yet I have less time to myself?

I confuse myself some times.

I CAN NOT WAIT 'till May 22nd. It's gonna' be the shizznit. For those of you who don't know(meaning all three of my readers, counting myself) I'm going to Summer Camp(http://www.summercampfestival.com/2008/) with M-dizzle. I'm crazy excited. This'll be the first fest I've gone to in like two years. YAY DIRTY HIPPY FESTIVALS!!!
It's kinda' hard to explain festivals. Unless you've been to one, you're not going to get it. I sound like bitch, but it's truuuuuue! It's just one of those things you have to do, like eating ice-cream, it's really hard to explain why eating frozen milk is so great, or laying in the grass & looking up at the stars, you just have to do it!

Last time Mad & I went to S-camp was great, except she met a cute hippy dude, & I was a third wheel the whole time. Last time we talked about it(we were making plans to ninja it up at S-camp) she said some thing about how we both have to meet hott hippy guys & have sex in tents(actually, I think I may have added the sex bit myself...). I sort of laughed & was like "Yeah I can't wait"(or some thing equally witless) but I was thinking "WTF? I have Boyfriend, no hippies for me!"

Hah, haha.

I have really awesome parentals. Last night I didn't get home 'till around one(in ze morning), I explained what hapend & my mom was cool with it. I think she was a little uncomfy with how late I was out, but she trusts me, & I love that. If I'd been out that late two years ago my 'rents would have fliped out. But then again, I wasn't very trust worthy two years ago.

Keehee.

This morning I was chillen with Dad, we were talking & he asked me about drinking, as in, do Mad & I drink? I told him my thoughts about it, Mad over did it a while ago, learned her lesson & hasn't had a drink since, I was never all that into alcohol anyway.

He then asked me if we planned on drinking at summer camp(though that's not really the sort of thing you plan). told him, honestly, I trust people at festivals more than I trust the general public, but in that situation I'd rather keep my wits about me, because theres always that one asshole who thinks it'd be fun to take advantage of the cute drunk girl. There for, if I were to partake in any illegal activities, it'd be like, one beer, & only if I open it myself(that's always a rule of mine in party-like places, I don't drink it unless I open it myself). Also, Mad & I stay together, always, it's the only real rule we have. Daddy smiled & said that was a very responsible & well thought out answer, & said he's cool with that, as long as I keep it responsible & stay out of trouble.

He then proceded to ponder why I turned out so different from him & mom at this age.
I had no answer.

Love & mini-moos,
Ariel

dizzy princesses

When I was younger I totally hated my name. Well, not so much my name, as peoples reactions to it. When every one you meet says "Ohhh! Were you named after the little mermaid?"(or some thing equaly stupid) you get a little tired of it. The sad thing was, I always loved that movie, Ariel was like my idol.

Now that I'm a little older(& people no longer compair me to a singing fish) I'm actually quite fond of my name, & delite in wearing Ariel the Little Mermaid crap.(I own two differant Ariel t-shirts, both from hottopic, & three pairs of Ariel socks^_^)

I feel like it would be awesome to start a band with other people who share their names with Disney princesses. I mean think about it! If you took Ariel, Jasmine, Arora, Belle & Cindy(or Ella) VOILA! It'd be fantastic. Instead of calling the band The Disney Princesses, we'd call it The Dizzy Princesses. It sounds close enough that people would get it, but we wouldn't get sued!
And dude, punk versions of the princess costumes? CAN YOU SAY SEXALICIOUS?!
Obviously it'd be pretty hard to find girls called Mulan & Pocahontas.....But whatever.

I wouldn't wear a fish tail on stage, that'd be way to awkward. But like....a sequined mini skirt(or dress....) that would rock. And I could color my hair redish....

Love & disco,
Ariel

hella tight

I got about six hours of sleep last night....
*Grumpy*
But I really have no one to blame but myself.(I hate when that hapens) I just couldn't sleep!
That's not true, once I actually draged myself off to bed I was off to dream land in a matter of minutes, but before I did get to bed I kept thinking of things I wanted to do! And then I stayed up to write not one, but two blogs!
There is most totally some thing wrong with me.

I have a paper cut on my left pinkie finger....I don't know how or when it got there, I just know it hurts, alot.(Yes, I know "alot" is not actually a word)

Bah, I gots 'ta get going.

Love & catfish,
Ariel

don't be so humble, you're not that great

Sooooos I just went & re-read all the posts I've made on this blog.....
WHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHME?!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah.
I suck.

I should stop giving out my URL, I don't want people to know how crazy & obsessive I am.
Hah, oh well, to late now right?
Right.

I think when I turn 18 I'm going to have a french proverb tattooed across my shoulders.
Some thing like....
autant en emporteleven(as much as the wind can carry)

aux innocents les main pleins(the innocent have their hands full, it sort of suits me...)

La vie en rose(life in pink, kind of like that one saying about rose colored glasses)

a coeur vaillant rien d'impssible(for a brave heart nothing is impossible)

Faut souffrir pour etre belle(beauty does not come with out suffering)

`a beau mentir qui vient de loin(I can't remember the exact translation, but it boils down to ''long ways, long lies'' as in, it's easy to lie about yourself when you're a long way from home)

`a bon chat, bon rat(a good cat for a good rat, if I got that one I think I'd have a little black rat right below it)

`a chaque jour suffil sa peine(for each day there suffices suffering)

Any-pooo, it's sleapy time for me!
Love & tooth paste,
Ariel

PEE.ESS.
Add me on myspace BETCH!
http://www.myspace.com/crazyrainbowmonkey

PEE.PEE.ESS.
I HATE TOM. But I'm one of his many slaves....

Ohemjeezy!

I can't talk much now--as it's about 2 in the morning & I have to be up at 9--but I wanted to post a little update aaaaaand a list of things that I might be posting later today if I'm not feeling to lazy.

LALALA I HAVE REMOVED PART OF THIS BLOG.

Though, I can't say I haven't been tempted to do the same.
Last summer after the whole Garret thing....gads, if it weren't for Mad & Lauren god only knows what I might have done with Mr.Dude.(I'm not one to regret things, I believe risks are ment to be taken and mistakes are ment to be made, but....lets just leave it at EW)

LALALA MORE STUFF IS GONE.

Speaking of sex & stupid things, I'm on the phone with Alli the other day & I hear the sound of a foil wraper being opened. I didn't think much of it at the time, Alli does all sorts of weird things while chatting on the phone & after a while I learned not to ask questions. A couple minutes later were talking about some thing completely stupid & random, & I realise, Alli's voice is curiously muffeld...
"Babe, what are doing?" I ask.
"Ewing ona chawy codom"
"Huh what now?"
"EWING ONA CHAWY CODOM!" Oh dear god, please tell me she didn't just say what I think she said.
"Alli, don't talk with your mouth full."
"Sorry, I was chewing on a cherry condom." I was afraid of that.
"WHAT?!"
"Whaaaat? They taste real good!"
"........"
"Seriously! I'll send you some with my next letter and you can try them yourself! I know you like chewing on things!"
"......."
*CLICK*

Actually, now that I think about it, I 'prolly would chew on a cherry flavored condom....
MOVING RIGHT ALONG.

Today I discoverd a most sexalicious fact: BOYFRIEND CAN TIE CHERRY STEMS IN KNOTS!
Mwahaha.

A'right, enough sexy talk, I don't want my blog to be flagged.
Love & pillow talk,
Ariel

P to the S

I forgot I was s'posed to put a list of things you have to look forward to(Sorry!)
Well here it goes:
Ninja-ing at Summer camp(http://www.summercampfestival.com/2008/)
Coffee personalities(you can tell alot about a person by what they drink, FO REALZ FOO!)
Why the hell I made so many tips this week
EVERY THING I EAT IS MAKING ME SICK(sort of, kind of, not really)
Sex, IN TENTS
90's music
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!
cars(nuff' said)
murphy's law(AKA why my period only comes when I'm wearing sexy panties)
And last but not least, YER MOM.(Well, not really, I just enjoy saying YER MOM)

chewing on pens, watching cartoons

This week has been sexy.
In more than one way. ;]

I got to hang with Boyfriend monday, tuesday & wednsday, & not just for a few hours, all day long. I seriously got home at midnight every night.
I guess it's only three days, but it feels like it's been weeks.
In a good way!

Last night was hott.
I don't want to go into to much detail, lest I get you all hott and horny, but lets just say....um....it was awesome. Hah, I felt really....exposed. Go figure. It was insecure-making, but cool at the same time, like it felt okay to be insecure in front of him. It's hard to explain, but with Nick I feel safe, even when I'm feeling insecure.

Last night when I got home(It was 12, I was flushed, & stumbling like I was trippen, good thing mum had already gone to bed...) I felt so...electrified! I was so tired, it felt amazing to just lie down on my floor, all I did was lie there & write song lyrics until I remembered that I had to work in the morning. That boy inspires me.

When we kiss it makes me see music. I'm so crazy, but it's real! I see harmonics, power chords, mellodies that flow so, perfectly intertwined with a primal beat. But mostly harmonics.

I'm silly.
A silly little girl.
But it's okay! =^-^=

I gots my hair cut today. Horrays!!!
It's not short or any thing totally exciting. Boyfriend asked me not to cut my hair real short, he likes it long, so I got about half an inch trimmed off, and now I have BANGS. Full on eyebrow length straight across the forhead BANGS. I look supa' cute if I may say so myself. Though it's still got that new hat feel.

Ho-hum pigs-bum...

I less than three cheap clothes. I almost never buy jeans from the mall or other stores just because I like them better from the thrift store. Plus, if they only cost like five bucks, it's totally cool if I wear them once & decide I don't like them, or if I do some thing stupid--such as attempting to do the splits in skin tight jeans--and rip them, or if I spill some thing gross on them, or get grass stains on them, it's okay! 'Cause they were only five bucks, and it'll only be another five bucks to get new ones!

Although I'm sort of thrifty, I'm not the type of person to wear clothes out. Another reason I love thrift stores: I get bored of my clothes at the drop of a hat, I like always having some thing new. And I go through styles supa' quick. Right now I really love skirts & flats, girly flirty summery looks, & cordory. Lots of cordory.....But I'll 'prolly be totally over than in a couple monthes.

I've never been the type of person who'll wear the same bathing suit two summers in a row.
Even back when I was a kid and I just wore whatever my 'rentals gave me, I couldn't stand having the same bikini twice over agian, but it was some thing my parents didn't get. My parents believe in wearing it 'till it's either worn-out, or you've grown out of it. I pulled all sorts of tricks to avoid wearing the same bathing suits two summers in a row, I had my dog eat one, re-sewed one so it'd be to small, lost one, ripped one, fell in the mud & stained one. But this year, I think I can't wait to wear my suit from last year! I randomly put it on today when I got home from work, & all I could think was dammn! It's really cute. And I don't feel nearly as insecure as I did last summer, so I think I'll enjoy wearing it more.

This is the weirdest blog...
Love & lip-gloss,
Ariel

P.S!
I less than three this blog: http://raining-noodles.blogspot.com/
Check'er out, she be coolio.

Stumble & st-st-stutter

I've become quite addicted to the intorwebz as of late. Some times I forget just how many websites there are to see. I just finished reading this blog, it was pretty interesting. http://www.barbwired.com/nadiaweb/nawl/archives/cat_travel.html

I really should stop procrastinating. :/
Meh.

I need to do dishes, if I don't my mum will be quite pissed, & I wont get to go to the Ice-hogs game tonight.

Anyways. I've never been a jealous person, I sound like I'm full of crap, but honestly I just don't get jealous. Some times I think I'm missing some thing crucial, but I don't know how to be jealous. But I found myself feeling the sting of envy thursday when I went to the mall with Nick & Mad. I'm not even going to write about it, I feel silly just thinking about it. I'm such a moron some times.

I can't help being who I am though. I guess I just forgot how inexperienced I am with guys. Latley I've been feeling like I just don't know how to be a girlfriend, let alone a good one. I don't know what Nick wants, & that's making me feel quite insecure. When my age comes up in conversation Boyfriend will say some thing like "yeah, I'm a bad man" & it makes me feel like I'm just this silly little girl. But basically that's what I am.

Freud couldn't figure out what women want, but what do men want?!

I spent so long wanting Nick, wishing that we could be together. But I don't know what to do now that I have him!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy with our relationship. I less than three Nick!
He's ah-mai-zing. Every moment we're together is greater than the last. I just want him to feel the same way! I want to know that he's happy.

It's to bad he's so busy. The whole two job thing really sucks.
Gah.

A'right, time to get a mooooove on.
I've gots ta' get the kitchen clean.

Love & blisters,
Ariel

scaredy-pantaloons.

Sooooo yesterday I kind of got roped into audtioning for Nick C.'s band.(Not Boyfriend, a different Nick.) I mean, I do want to do it, no ones making me. But at the same time....I really don't want to do it.

My pantaloons are scared. >.<

So now I'm s'posed to "learn" five songs before April 5th. I pretty much know them all, not really well or any thing, but well enough to sing along in the car. I guess that dosn't really mean much. Nick C. sent me an e-mail about the audition, and there was an attachment with all the song lyrics, but my dumb computer wont let me open it.(That might be because I don't know what my computer wants me to do...)

Grrrr! >:[

I opend up project playlist so's I could look up these songs, get more of a feel for them, but my featured playlist started up right away & now I can't stop listening to it. It's really good.
Hah. I do have good taste in tunage, but I kind of think I should be working on this music.....damn me for being a procrastinator.

Okay, I'm looking them up now.
1. Hot blooded--Foreigner
2. Don't stop believin'--Journey
3. Roll with the changes--REO speedwagon
4. Come sail away--Styx
5. Dreams--Van halen

I'm listening to Hot Blooded right now, & I've got to say, I can totally picture myself up on stage rockin' out to this song.

It's like, when I just think of the audition, I feel really scared.(I'm not doing my emotions justice, I think the word terrified is more acurate) I'm a lot more insecure than I let on, & even if the guys in Nick C.'s band are totally suportive & wonderfully nice, getting up & seriously singing for people is a very vunerable position for me. But when I'm actually listening to the music, when I picture myself singing it, I feel like I can totally do it. I feel sort of...powerful.

It's kind of like when I'm acting, I always feel like I can't do it, I always feel chicken shit, I can never remember my lines two minutes before I go on stage, and generally I start feeling sick the night of the dress rehersal & I don't stop feeling sick 'till I'm actually out on stage, but once I get up there, once I'm out in front of the audience, it's all gone. My mind basically goes blank, & while I'm on stage, if it's an hour or just a few minutes, I am my character. It's such a rush too. Nothing can compair to the way I feel when I'm performing.

I think I can do this. I know I can do this. I am going to rock this audition!

Love & power chords,
Ariel

Ariel, warrior princess

Question, what is more fun than using a foam sword to beat the crap out of your mom, brother, & best-friend?
Answer, NOTHING.

Today Aaron & I made foam swords. We fought in a tornament with other kiddoes. 'Twas awesome.

Later, Mad-dog came over. We went trapsing around the woods by the railroad tracks for a while(when you have nothing to do, trapsing through woods is always a good choice). When we got tired we went home & watched Scooby-doo with Aaron.

When that got boring the three of us went to Whitehead, where we proceded to take turns killing each other with our mock-weapons. We stayed there, whacking, hacking, & slashing at each other untill we were battered, bruised, & sore.

After that, we chilled at my house, & killed each other on super smash bros. Bwahaha.

I love kicking peoples butts.
^_^

Love & pain killers,
Ariel

>:(

I feel really ticked off. Like I want to punch some one in the face. And I have no idea why.

I guess today was just...I don't know.
Shite.

Tomorrows not going to be any better.
Meh.

Some times I'm happier when I'm day-dreaming.
Most of the time, actually.

Love & gold-fish,
Ariel

P.S.
I was just looking at grouphug, it wasn't making me feel better. In fact, the more I read the angrier I got. But this made me smile: http://beta.grouphug.us/confessions/516382608
Some times I feel like there are people out there who are...well...me, in an alternet reality. And I would have no idea that they were really there if it wern't for websites like grouphug and postsecret. Now I'm angry, happy, & saddish all at once. ://

guilty face

I miss Nick. I feel like I'm suffering withdrawls.
I called him today, but I really had nothing to talk about & I didn't know what to say so I felt slightly awkward.

That's life I s'pose.

I have no moniez.
I'm broke for real.

Today sucks bums.

some times I think people are talking about me...

I'm really addicted to grouphug. I go on that site every single day, and it's one of the websites I check before I go to bed at night. This one confession really made me smile. When I read it,
I got this feeling like I know who said it, and who they were talking about. :)
http://beta.grouphug.us/confessions/553586056

It's 'prolly not who I think it is, but it's a nice feeling. And it made me think of all the local groups I've ever really liked, & how important just a few words can be to small time bands.

I wish I could have a band, but only a couple of my friends are musically...er...gifted. And I'd be to scared to audition for some one elses band. :(

Love & drum sticks,
Ariel

musical drug-trip

Last night Mad & I went to le' suckbox. We were really going there so we could walk to Ben's house & hang with him, but sadly he was busy with other stuffs.

We had some chinese foods, & chilled at the suckbox for a while. I really felt like the whole night was a waste of time, & I kept hoping Boyfriend would call me.(He didn't, but I knew he wasn't going to.)

Untill the last band came on. Gads, they were the sex. They made me want to get up & dance my pants off--but Mad was to busy flirting with some dude & I'm to insecure to dance by myself.

I finally managed to drag her away from said guy for the last song, it was the shitt!
When they were done playing every one started chanting one more song! When they played the very last song every one got up on stage and started moshing.
And I have the bruses to prove it. ;)

2*sweet really rocked last night. You know a band is good when you feel like you're falling in love with them. I think they might have replaced ACF as my favorite band.

Love & kick-flips,
Ariel

bi...polar?

Lets get things straight(haha), the fact is, I'm bi. Got it? Good, on with the story.

I really like Nick. He's....amazing. He's the first guy I've actually had feelings for since Garret.
I think about him alot, & even when I'm checking out other hot guys I know I'll never want any of them--ahem, hot starbucks guy who always gets tea? Yeah that guys smokin, & he's not the only one. But I don't care about any of them, not the way I do for Nick.

But the other day at work, this really cute punk girl came in. God she was fly. She looked so real too! Not like all the other ''punks'' around here. For ages all I could think about was her, I was just trying to come up with some excuse to talk to her. Finally I was just like ''screw this'' and started to walk over to her. Then sudenly, it hit me, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

Fuck! XD

I felt bad, but it was funny. Like, oh man! I just forgot I had a boyfriend for a moment! It was one of those moments where I was really glad no one can read my mind.

Love & catfish,
Ariel

P.S.
I less than three this webpage: http://beta.grouphug.us/

rocket ship luurve

Is it totally crazy that when ever I say goodbye to Boyfriend I want to tell him that I love him?

Well...We've only been dating about 10 days, so I'd say...yes.
Plus, when I was dating Phill & later Richie, they both dropped the L-bomb with in the first two weeks(or in Richie's case, days) of dating and it freaked me out. Seriously, when guys say the L-word, I usually turn tail and run. Except with Garret, but that's because I really did love him.

Love is a little word with a big meaning.

Love can be pretty scary too.

I know it sounds completely insane, but honestly, I really do think I love Nick.
Wow, I've never actually admitted any thing like that before. Not even to myself.

Ohmygods.

I'm nuts. I'm not going to tell Nick that I love him. Imagine what he would think!
Sheesh.

one cool web page

I went on this website, I don't know how I found it, but it has links to all sorts of great blogs.
This one isn't really a blog, but I fell in love with it.
I bet you didn't know that a person could fall madley in love with a web page.
http://www.picturesofwalls.com/
Some of the stuff on that site is funny, some of it's sad, but it's all worth seeing.

school-girls, tea & rainbow socks

Today was ah-maze-ing.

I was just chillen', sitting at my computer, myspacing('cuz I'm one of Tom's many slaves), eating some left overs. I took a huge bite of last nights pizza, and as if it was waiting for me to stuff my face, my phone rang. My cell is a peice of crap, so I can't tell who's called me if I miss it, unless they leave a message, so I'm like ''ohemgee who be callin me?"(yeah, I thought those exact words) and picked it up. Ofcourse, when I said hello, it came out like ''ewl-aoh?"
It was Nick.(My boyfriend) I had to say hang on, and put the phone down while I chewed and swallowed, but I'm pretty sure it came out like ''hag-oh''

I was super happy that he called.(I'm pretty easy to please) I had just been wondering if I should call him--since he dosen't really have time to hang this week & I thought I wasn't going to see him for a while--but I didn't know if he'd want me to call him just to talk.(I still don't know, I'm a dork & forgot to ask him the questions I've been meaning to ask)

"So what are you up to?" He asked.
"Uhm, right this minute?" I replyed stupidly.
"Yeah"(or some thing like that, I don't remember the convo perfectly and I'm leaving oodles out fer sure)
"Absolutly nothing"
"So you're just sitting around at home?"(Oh he's crafty)
"Well I'm standing, but yeah."
"Well why don't you go take a look out your front window."(Again, leaving shhtuff out)

So with phone in hand I dashed to the front door. As you may have guessed--or not if you're a little slow, tired, stupid or impaired in some other way--Nick was out side!
Not suprisingly, I squealed like an anime school girl.

It's pretty awesome that I wasn't like....wearing my pjs or some thing. Because quite often after class if I don't have any plans I'll be like, uhh....screw this I'm gonna' wear my jammies.
I even put perfume on today. :0

So Nick took me out to lunch & it was fabulicious!
(Ya' know, I really adore that guy.)

I had a great time, because of Ace(that's my nick name for...uh...Nick) I was happy all day, even during drivers ed! :D The kiss goodbye kind of helped. When I get irritated with my driving instructer, all I have to do is think about kissing Nick and I feel better. ^_^

Okay, so usually my title actually make sence once you read my blog, but it dosen't really this time. I mean, obviously it's school-girls 'cuz I squealed like school-girl when I saw Nick(he often makes me squeal, maybe because I am a school-girl of sorts), but just incase you want further explanation, it's tea 'cuz that's what I drank at lunch, and rainbow socks 'cuz I was wearing a white mini-skirt & rainbow knee-socks.

Love & Disco!
Ariel

wheres the love?

I'm in drivers ed right now.

Not right now as in I am telapathicly transmitting my thoughts directly into this blog while I am suposed to be learning how to propperly operate a motor vehicle, right now as in, I have to go to drivers ed classes every weeknight and it sucks.

Tonight was especially craptastic, due to the fact that I am unable to speak.

But I don't want to talk about that, I don't even want to think about that. Drivers ed sucks, end of story.

In other news, there's this guy that I really like. Oh my gosh no way! Ariel is thinking about a guy?! My whole world is turned upside-down!
But really, I'm not a very boy-crazy person. It's really rare for me to get attatched to a guy.

The last time I was really into a guy was...well, Garret.

The whole Garret thing was kind of a mess. He lives like 9 hours away, so our ''relationship'' was kind of off & on. We tried ''dating'' once, but we both decided it wasn't working. The next time we saw each other, I was worried that it was going to be awkward.


If your deffanition of ''awkward'' is ''making out on a couch for a couple hours'' then yes, it was horrably awkward.


I hate admitting it but he really was my first love.(He was also my first kiss)

Some how, I kind of thought he and I would like...end up together one day.


Ahh young love.


So anyway. Garret=over. Nick=not.


Did I mention the guy I like is called Nick?
No, me thinks not.

Basically, he's fantastic.

Some times I don't belive he's real.
But he is!


The only problem is, he's five years older than me.
It dosen't bother me.

Age is an issue of mind over matter,
if you don't mind,
it dosen't matter.
-Mark Twain.



But I think it does matter to him.
I'm pretty sure he does like me, but....Bleh, boys are silly.

Chicken Little waxing philosophic

So I'm bumin' around the intorwebz. Stuck at home. Sick. Hardly able to speak. Nothin' better to do with my time.

Hey! I think. I wonder what I'll find if I google myself? I put my google-foo to the test and find....A blog! Woohoo! I forgot I made a blog back in spring, '07.
(http://reinventingariel.blogspot.com/)

I read the whole thing. Yep, I wrote that. Some of it makes me laugh, some of it makes me a little sad. One or two things make me think ''WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!" But it's not a bad blog. It's entertaining at least.(Well, I don't know what you would think of it, but I enjoyed reading it. Come to think of it, that might not be such a good thing....)

Why did I stop blogging? Hmmm, maybe I ran out of things to write about? No, me thinks not. I didn't have any thing to write about in the first place. I was embarassed when some one read my blog? Nein, the whole point of writing it was to give people a chance to really see me.
I got bored? Most likely.

I'm back now, ready to write about the only thing I know.(Me)

Love & Disco
Ariel