this title is to awesome for your eyes

My life is so...full, right now. There's only a smige of drama & I'm happier for it.

So many thing's have been happening, I'm not sure what to write about or where to start!

Ho-kay. So, John drama? Basically we have been talking over myspace, & I've sort of asked him if he'd like to be friends again, but, I'm not really sure if that's what I want. I'm really afraid that if we start hanging out again he's going to want to be together, & I just can't do that.
My mind is completely boggeld on that front.

It seems like a sort of feud has erupted at work. It's Amber, & Hope (I think Deanna too, but I'm not sure) all against Hillary. To be honest I think the whole thing is completely insane. The thing is, I do like where I work, but when I'm not there, I don't really think about the store. I just can't understand why every one is so, worried about the cafe! I don't know, maybe it would be more important to me if I was older, or if being a barista was what I wanted to do with my life, but I just can't imagine being so upset about a few changes here & there. Yes, it can be irritating, yes there are times when I just feel fed up, but I deal with it, & I move on. Ugh, people are so weird.

Speaking of work, the other night when I was closing, a familier face stopped in. I met him after a show that his band had played last year. (Or was it two years ago?) And he works at the guitar shop that I go to. We stopped to chat for a bit, (who are you taking lessons from? Mike, Does he still...? Haha, yeah. And you? Hows the band? Oh yeah! Blah blah blah...) & he asked for my number. Now here's the rub (there's always a problem), I don't know his name. In fact, all I can remember about him is that he plays bass, & he has tattoos on his toes. Tattoos, on his toes. That's all I know.

I should be going, I have to hop in the shower before I trot off to work.
Love always,
Ariel

chom chom

It seems I haven't updated in...quite a while....

Theres been some relationship drama. I was in denile about the whole thing with Nick, he hurt me, I felt pathetic, I told everyone, including myself, that I was totally over him & was happier with out him. Lies, all lies.

Then Nick's best friend John(who had become one of my best friends too) professed his love to me. There was this whole drawn out thing with John because I wasn't sure if I wanted to date him & yadda yadda yadda. The night before I said yes to John this guy named Tim asked me out on a date.

I ended up really liking Tim & going on a few dates with him despite the fact that I was seeing John. I felt like I was living two differant lives. One where I was depressed & moody & always glad to see my guy John, & one where I was witty, smart, & always smiling when I saw my guy Tim.

Two nights before I left for Arkansas I ended up cheating on John & loosing my virginity at the same time. I felt like shit for what I did to John, but I don't regret it. That night was amazing.

The next day John & I broke up. I didn't give him any reason, I didn't want him to know what I did. What kind of person I had become.

I spent a week in Arkansas & tried to pretend that I didn't have any relationship drama the whole time I was there. Which wasn't easy since every one kept asking me about my love life.

After I got back Tim and I saw each other a couple more times.
Once we had sushi & went bowling. It was perfect. We both sucked at bowling, & we looked & acted for all the world like a perfect couple.
The last time we saw each other(before he moved to China) was....one of the most amazing nights ever.

I still miss him a lot.

I drew red, gold & grey flowers the next day, & I wrote a short poem about our bohemian romance. They are hanging on my bedroom wall now, every time I see them I remember my last night with Tim. ^_^

But now all that's over. I don't talk to Nick or John, & Tim is teaching in China.

oh dear...

I hate it when things get complex, & yet I some how enjoy it....
It's like I enjoy being in pain.
But hey, at least drama isn't boring, right?
Right?
I'm screwed...

BEST FOURTH EVER

I have to say, this was the most memorable fourth of July ever.

Early in the day Mad 'n I decided to ride our bikes to Lauren's house because our dearest darling Lauren was stuck at home all alone. We were only half way there (yet still four miles away) when Madeleine ran over a big pointy piece of glass & killed her tire. Note, I said killed not popped, that tire is dead. So la-dee-daa, we ended up sitting at a gas station until my dad could come pick us up. We did stop at Laurens, (to give her lots of candy) but only briefly.

Ho-hum pigs-bum, cutting short what could be a book...

At home when played with the monsters for a bit, ball tag & squirt gun fights. I snapped a few lovely candid photos.

Mad didn't come with us to see the fireworks, & I must say she missed out. Until the real show started we hung out, played Frisbee, devil sticks, Zunis, dancing, we grilled food too. It was almost like our own mini festival in a parking lot.

Haha.

But that's not the really memorable part.
We're driving home, traffic was abysmal, & we end up stopping on the train tracks. God wouldn't this be a great time for a train to come? I asked jokingly. Five minutes later, we're just past another set of tracks, & my dad pulls the truck over. (Since there were seven people there we had to take two cars, mom, Aaron, Damien & I were in the car. Katlin, Tammy, & my dad were in the truck.) The grill had fallen over, there were hot coals every where, so every one jumps out to help, not wanting the contents of the bed to catch fire. Just then we hear it, a train coming straight for us.

My mom had to jump in the car & move it farther from the tracks, all I could do was laugh.

Hot coals taken care of, & all small fires put out, we pulled back onto the road.
I'd say we were about a mile from our last...pit stop when all of the sudden (& thank god no one was to close the the truck at the time) the grill comes flying out of the bed, various pieces scattering on the concrete. Both parents pulled over immediately, & I saw my dad's door open, but I was faster. I flew out of the car & grabbed it before the traffic light had a chance to change. After the grill was loaded safely into the truck once more we waited for them to leave before getting back on the road, mostly because we were laughing to hard to breath.

Looking back on it I suppose those little tidbits wouldn't be quite as funny if you weren't there the whole night, but I'm guessing it'll merit a mild chuckle.

Happy fourth of July!
Love & gun powder,
Ariel

I'm not great at algebra

It's at my fingertips
but I can't get a girp
these numbers swirl with sarcasm
laughing at my every move
never have I seen integers to patronizing!

lets take the drama down a notch...

Lately my life has seemed quite...insane.
God, where to start?

Ahh, I guess I'll start with Boyfriend. Or should I say ex-Boyfriend.
Yeah thats right, Nick & I are no more.

I guess I saw it coming. I started getting weird vibes from him a while ago (before his birthday) & they just kept getting worse. I knew what was happening, but ever the optimist (or idiot, whatever you prefer) I kept hoping I was wrong.

The funny thing is, we're totally O-V-E-R but he never actually broke up with me.

I had my phone silenced all day friday since I had to work, & after work I had to go drive with Mr. Kohler. When I was waiting for my mom to pick me up I decided to check my messages, & hark! I message from the elusive Boyfriend! Basically he was like ''I know this isn't the best way to do this but...you know, just call me back when you get a chance."

At first I was totally in shock, I deleted the message & continued listening to others left with more welcome words, but by the time I got to the last message of the morning I was sobbing. My mom arived just then, so I ran to the car with tears & rain pouring down my face (yes, it was raining, nice touch eh?) & told her what happend.

But don't think your brave heroin broke down & spent the whole day in bed eating Ben & Jerry's. I'm a warrior not a damsel in distress! So after about two minutes of sniveling, I put on a happy-face & assured my mother I'd be just fine.

Once I got home I had to head straight out again. Mad, Kevs, & I were throwing our friend Evan a suprise party & it was my job to distract him for a while. He & I walked around the neighborhood for a while, & I put Nick out of my mind entirely. But ofcourse, even the strongest of wills can't hold up for ever (not that I'm that strong of will...). Around 8pm I told Evan I needed to go home because I was feeling sick (true, actually, stress makes me feel like puking).

After that I spent the next hour or so laying on my bed sobbing untill I couldn't cry any more. I have to admit, expected or not, knowing that my relationship with Nick was over hurt, a lot.
But soon the tears abated, & my sadness turned to anger. I felt used, I felt like he didn't even think of me as a person, I felt like all he cared about was my smokin' hott bod (yes, I am modest).

I felt a lot better after talking to Mad, so I decided to call Nick back. I felt really calm as I punched in his number (for the last time) but once it started ringing I worried about what he might say. I worried in vain though, after ringing for what seemed to be a life time I got his voice mail. So I put on my perkiest, most butterflies-&-bubble-gum voice & basically told him I saw it coming & not to call me ever again.

Mwahaha.

There are other things going on, but one of them I can't talk about, & one of them I don't want to talk about (yes, there's a differance). And, ahh...blah.
I'm going to bed now.

Love & text books,
Ariel

your life is waiting for you

Boyfriend finally has a car! HORRAY!!
(FYI, when he got hit by that semi his car was smushed.)

Moving right along.

I am currantly living in a seven person household, this time last month only four people were living here. (Our brave heroine heaves a deep sigh of remorse) It's a long story.

I don't really mind so much. The main problem is that the TV & computer always seem to be in use when I feel like watching a movie, & I find it hard to get to bed before 11 when the kids (including my brother Aaron) are all still up playing. But for the most part the kids (Katline & Damien) have been great, & Tammie (K & D's mother) is like one of the family. So it's all good.

Meh, I'm pretty tired, I think I'm gonna' watch some pokemon' with the monsters & go to bed.

Love & potatoes,
Ariel