scaredy-pantaloons.

Sooooo yesterday I kind of got roped into audtioning for Nick C.'s band.(Not Boyfriend, a different Nick.) I mean, I do want to do it, no ones making me. But at the same time....I really don't want to do it.

My pantaloons are scared. >.<

So now I'm s'posed to "learn" five songs before April 5th. I pretty much know them all, not really well or any thing, but well enough to sing along in the car. I guess that dosn't really mean much. Nick C. sent me an e-mail about the audition, and there was an attachment with all the song lyrics, but my dumb computer wont let me open it.(That might be because I don't know what my computer wants me to do...)

Grrrr! >:[

I opend up project playlist so's I could look up these songs, get more of a feel for them, but my featured playlist started up right away & now I can't stop listening to it. It's really good.
Hah. I do have good taste in tunage, but I kind of think I should be working on this music.....damn me for being a procrastinator.

Okay, I'm looking them up now.
1. Hot blooded--Foreigner
2. Don't stop believin'--Journey
3. Roll with the changes--REO speedwagon
4. Come sail away--Styx
5. Dreams--Van halen

I'm listening to Hot Blooded right now, & I've got to say, I can totally picture myself up on stage rockin' out to this song.

It's like, when I just think of the audition, I feel really scared.(I'm not doing my emotions justice, I think the word terrified is more acurate) I'm a lot more insecure than I let on, & even if the guys in Nick C.'s band are totally suportive & wonderfully nice, getting up & seriously singing for people is a very vunerable position for me. But when I'm actually listening to the music, when I picture myself singing it, I feel like I can totally do it. I feel sort of...powerful.

It's kind of like when I'm acting, I always feel like I can't do it, I always feel chicken shit, I can never remember my lines two minutes before I go on stage, and generally I start feeling sick the night of the dress rehersal & I don't stop feeling sick 'till I'm actually out on stage, but once I get up there, once I'm out in front of the audience, it's all gone. My mind basically goes blank, & while I'm on stage, if it's an hour or just a few minutes, I am my character. It's such a rush too. Nothing can compair to the way I feel when I'm performing.

I think I can do this. I know I can do this. I am going to rock this audition!

Love & power chords,
Ariel